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Dead Motherfucking Bart
Yo ass know how tha fuck Fox has a weird way of countin Simpsons episodes? They refuse ta count a cold-ass lil couple them, makin tha amount of episodes inconsistent becuz you know bitch there are totally shit missing. Da reason fo' dis be a lost episode from season 1 which never fucking aired bitch. Findin details bout dis missin episode is difficult, no one whoz ass was hustlin on tha show all up in tha time likes ta rap bout dat shit. From what tha fuck has been pieced together, tha lost episode was freestyled entirely by Mack Groening. Durin thang of tha straight-up original gangsta season, Mack started ta act strangely yo. Dude was straight-up on tha fuckin' down-low, seemed straight-up trippin n' morbid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mentionin dis ta mah playas whoz ass was present thangs up in dis biatch up in dem gettin straight-up mad salty, n' forbiddin you ta eva mention it ta Matt becuz i'm an asshole who forgets shit like a old homie. I first heard of it at a event where Dizzy Silverman was bustin lyrics. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone up in tha crowd axed bout tha episode, n' Silverman simply left tha stage, endin tha presentation minutes early. Da episodez thang number was 7G06, tha title was Dead Bart. Da episode labeled 7G06, Moanin Lisa, was made later n' given Dead Bartz thang code ta hide tha latterz existence. In addizzle ta gettin mad salty, askin mah playas whoz ass was on tha show bout dis will cause dem ta do every last muthafuckin thang they can ta stop you from directly communicatin wit Mack Groenin fo' realz. At a gangbangin' hustla event, I managed ta follow his ass afta da perved-out muthafucka was rappin ta tha crowd, n' eventually had a cold-ass lil chizzle ta rap ta his ass ridin' solo as da thug was leavin tha buildin yo. Dude didn't seem upset dat I had followed him, probably expected a typical encounter wit a obsessive fan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When I mentioned tha lost episode though, all color drained from his wild lil' grill n' da perved-out muthafucka started trembling. When I axed his ass if his schmoooove ass could tell me any details, da perved-out muthafucka sounded like da thug was on tha verge of tears yo. Dude grabbed a piece of paper, freestyled suttin' on it, n' handed it ta mah dirty ass yo. Dude begged mah crazy ass never ta mention tha episode again. Da piece of paper had a joint address on it, I would rather not say what tha fuck it was, fo' reasons you gonna peep up in a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I entered tha address tha fuck into mah browser, n' I came ta a joint dat was straight-up black, except fo' a line of yellow text, a thugged-out downlizzle link. I clicked on it, n' a gangbangin' file started downloading. Once tha file was downloaded, mah computer went crazy, dat shiznit was da most thugged-out shitty virus I had eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. System restore didn't work, tha entire computer had ta be rebooted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Before bustin dis though, I copied tha file onto a CD. I tried ta open it on mah now empty computer, n' as I suspected, there was a episode of Da Simpsons on dat shit. Da episode started off like any other episode yo, but had straight-up skanky qualitizzle animation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If you've peeped tha original gangsta animation fo' Some Enchanted Evening, dat shiznit was similar yo, but less stable. Da first act was fairly normal yo, but tha way tha charactas acted was a lil off yo. Homer seemed angrier, Marge seemed pissed off, Lisa seemed anxious, Bart seemed ta have genuine anger n' hatred fo' his thugged-out lil' muthafathas. Da episode was bout tha Simpsons goin on a plane trip, near tha end of tha straight-up original gangsta act, tha plane was takin off. Bart was foolin around, as you'd expect. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat as tha plane was bout 50 feet off tha ground, Bart broke a window on tha plane n' was sucked out. At tha beginnin of tha series, Mack had a scam dat tha animated steez of tha Simpsons' ghetto represented game, n' dat dirtnap turned thangs mo' realistic. This was used up in dis episode. Da picture of Bartz corpse was barely recognizable, they took full advantage of it not havin ta move, n' made a almost photo-realistic drawin of his fuckin lil' dead body. Act one ended wit tha blasted of Bartz corpse. When act two started, Homer, Marge, n' Lisa was chillin at they table, bustin up. Da bustin up like a biatch went on n' on, it gots mo' pained, n' sounded mo' realistic, mo' betta actin than you would be thinkin possible. Da animation started ta decay even mo' as they cried, n' you could hear murmurin up in tha background. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da charactas could barely be made out, they was stretchin n' blurring, they looked like deformed shadows wit random bright flavas thrown on em. There was faces lookin up in tha window, flashin up in n' up so you was never shizzle what tha fuck they looked like. This bustin up like a biatch went on fo' all of act two. Act three opened wit a title card sayin one year had passed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Homer, Marge, n' Lisa was skeletally thin, n' still chillin all up in tha table. There was no sign of Maggie or tha pets. They decided ta git on over ta Bartz grave. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Springfield was straight-up deserted, n' as they strutted ta tha cemetery tha houses became mo' n' mo' decrepit. They all looked abandoned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When they gots ta tha grave, Bartz body was just lyin up in front of his cold-ass tombstone, lookin just like it did all up in tha end of act one. Da crew started bustin up like a biatch again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Eventually they stopped, n' just stared at Bartz body. Da camera zoomed up in on Homerz grill fo' realz. Accordin ta summaries, Homer drops some lyrics ta a joke at dis part yo, but it aint audible up in tha version I saw, you can't tell what tha fuck Homer is saying. Da view zoomed up as tha episode came ta a cold-ass lil close. Da tombstones up in tha background had tha namez of every last muthafuckin Simpsons hommie star on em. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some dat no one had heard of up in 1989, some dat aint been on tha show yet fo' realz. All of dem had dirtnap dates on em. For guests whoz ass took a dirt nap since, like Mike Jackson n' George Harrison, tha dates was when they would take a thugged-out dirt nap. Da credits was straight-up silent, n' seemed handwritten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da final image was tha Simpson crew on they couch, like up in tha intros yo, but all drawn up in hyper realistic, gameless steez of Bartz corpse. A thought occurred ta me afta seein tha episode fo' tha last time, you could try ta use tha tombstones ta predict tha dirtnap of livin Simpsons hommie stars yo, but there be a suttin' odd bout most of tha ones whoz ass aint took a dirt nap yet. All of they dirtnaps is listed as tha same ol' dirty date which i'm not telling you becuz homie i'm a dirty ass bastard..